Continued

Sometimes there's resistance to moving back into your normal activities because it seems to minimize the tragedy you've experienced. Our society isn't very good at allowing public grieving. You're just supposed to stuff it down inside you and go on with your work. In bygone eras, there were official periods of mourning when men wore black armbands and women wore black veils. Nowadays, basketball and football teams are the only ones wearing black armbands. It might make us feel better to wear our grief on our sleeve, to have people recognize the severity of our loss and allow us a respectable amount of time to grieve. In fact, they could help us grieve.

Because it is so hard. You feel like part of yourself has been lost. The fabric of your existence has been torn - the pattern of your relationships has been permanently altered. The emotional overload is so great, it's even hard to interact with other people. So you need time alone. And yet there's a need for someone to hear your cries of pain from time to time. Don't allow each other to suffer this grief alone. Care for one another in your distress. Extend affection and encouragement to those around you, not just today or next month, but next year and the year after. John would be saddened to think of his loved ones moping around in his memory.